In a recent professional development course attended by Lisa Sirlin, Family Lawyer and Mediator at the Deer Lake Law Group, she was alerted to the concept of “Name it to Tame it”, and it resonated with her so much that she now incorporates this simple exercise into her mediation practice.
The theory, created by Dr. Daniel Siegel, goes something like this:
There is a neurological component to stress and anxiety. The executive part of the brain does not work when there are strong emotions in play. The result is akin to rational thought lockdown. How is one meant to work through conflict in this state of thoughtful paralysis?
In order to restore balance, it has been proven that if you take a step back and ‘name it’, for example: I am feeling threatened; scared; cornered; insecure - the executive part of the brain sifts through and categorizes your emotions. Yes, just by naming it!
When clients are stuck in emotions, there is no way forward. By recognizing this, pausing and identifying the emotion, clients will more easily reach their goal. The executive part of the brain must be fully engaged in order to reach a meaningful agreement in Mediation.
Clients sometimes ask whether moving to another country would have an impact on the status of divorce.
If you have already started your divorce in BC before you moved to another country, you can check the status of your divorce application with your family lawyer or by contacting the Central Registry of Divorce Proceedings for Canada in Ottawa, Ontario.
Also, if you were married in BC and want to get a divorce while you are living in another country, you are not required to do your divorce in BC (just because you were married in BC), generally.
As long as your divorce in the country in which you are living is valid, then it is also recognized in BC. Even if you move back to BC in the future, the divorce will still be valid in BC.
Clients sometimes ask if their marriage, performed overseas, is considered a valid marriage in Canada (and in BC).
Generally, if your marriage is legal and valid in the country in which you were married, then your marriage is recognized by BC.
If the relationship has broken down, even though the marriage occurred overseas, a divorce in Canada (and BC) would be required to terminate the marriage.
There are certain requirements before parties can apply for divorce. The process of divorce in BC involves the completion of Supreme Court forms, and filing them in a BC court. If this process is too time-consuming and complicated to your liking, you can also find a Family Lawyer to do all the work for you.
Getting legal advice from a Family Lawyer before you start your divorce is a good idea, because it may potentially save you more future expenses down the road. Your lawyer will not only inform you about your rights and responsibilities and the laws relevant to your case but also help you go through the divorce process, which could be the most vulnerable and stressful time of your life.